"And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but...
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View All Quotes"People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but expect dinner to turn up within the hour.
"It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.
"The gods were there to do the duties of a megaphone, because who else would people listen to?
"Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something.
"And the people of Ankh-Morpork are so thirsty for novelty that the whole city is, you might say, hurrying the future along for the sheer joy of watchi...
"After all, if you can't trust governments, whom can you trust?
"The coach passed by many buildings of this sort, which would no doubt be little palaces to the occupants, who had escaped from Cockbill Street and Pig...
"Anger was a weapon to be honed and treasured and used only at the moment yielding most premium.
"In Ankh-Morpork you can be whoever you want to be and sometimes people laugh and sometimes they clap, and mostly and beautifully, they don't really ca...
"I have to ask, sir...Why does it have to be done like this?"Vetinari smiled. "Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?""Oh, yes, sir. I've kept lots.""Ca...
"Looking out the window, Moist saw a small swarm of goblins leave the train and at first he thought, ha! Trust the buggers to run away, and then he men...
"Measurements is your saving grace if you want to raise steam.
"Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in t...
"Wizards don't believe in gods in the same way that most people don't find it necessary to believe in, say, tables. They know they're there, they know ...
"Was that what it was really like to be alive? The feeling of darkness dragging you forward?How could they live with it? And yet they did, and even see...
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and ...
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
"The reaper does not listen to the harvest.
"WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?
"Sin is a gravitation.
"Belief sloshes around in the firmament like lumps of clay spiralling into a potter's wheel. That's how gods get created, for example. They clearly mus...
"Ridcully sighed.'All right, you fellows,' he said. 'No magic at Table, you know the rules. Who's playing silly buggers?'The other senior wizards stare...
"It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.
"Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.
"I AM ALWAYS ALONE. BUT JUST NOW I WANT TO BE ALONE BY MYSELF.
"If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged
"I REMEMBER WHEN ALL THIS WILL BE AGAIN.
"He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shoutin...
"Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty...