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Never lend your car to someone you've given birth to.

More Erma Bombeck quotes

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When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anywa...

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I read one psychologist's theory that said "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When ...

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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the sp...

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When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're do...