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I don't like to commit myself about Heaven and Hell, you see, I have friends in both places.

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Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of t...more

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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

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We may not pay Satan reverence for that would be indiscreet but we can at least respect his talents.

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All right, then, I'll go to hell.

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She said all a body would have to do there [Heaven] was to go around all day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever.

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Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and today -- all without seeing him. It is a long time to be alone; still, it is better to be alone that unwelcome. I ha...more

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What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!