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Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need somethin...more

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All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

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Experts in ancient Greek culture say that people back then didn't see their thoughts as belonging to them. When ancient Greeks had a thought, it occur...more

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The precious gift of life must be preserved no matter now painful and pointless it seemed. Peace, I told them, is a gift so perfect that only God shou...more

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Nobody wants to worship you if you have the same problems, the same bad breath and messy hair and hangnails, as a regular person. You have to be every...more

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Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

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It's pathetic how we can't live with the things we don't understand. How we need everything labeled and explained and deconstructed. Even if it's for ...more

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It sounds as if you'd like to be God.

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I am the child of a lunatic. Not a child of God.

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It's okay if there isn't a God anymore, but I still want to respect something. I don't want to be the center of my own universe,

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You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that n...more

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Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is ev...more

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If you're male, and you're Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And sometimes you find your father in your career.

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Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!

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Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I'm wondering how clean this gun is.