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I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr.

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If people were rain i was drizzle and she was a hurrican.

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I didn't know what to say to her - I was caught in a love triangle with one dead side.

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When she fucked up all those years ago, just a little girl terrified into paralysis, she fell onto the enigma of herself.

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Nerd life is just so much better than regular life.

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But there was so much todo: cigarettes to smoke, sex to have, swings to swing on. I'll have more time for reading when I'm old and boring.

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If people were rain, I'd be a drizzle and she'd be a hurricane.

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Harry Potter isn’t real? Oh no! Wait, wait, what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am I real if you can see me and hear me, but only throu...more

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How wil we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?

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We were kissing.I thought: This is good.I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the his...more

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Daddy is trying really fugging hard to think of a not-terrifying reason why you'd wake Daddy up in the middle of the night to ask that fugging questio...more

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There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone's face is in close proximity to your penis.This was not one o...more

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Right, well, he'd been sick for a while and his nurse said to him, 'You seem to be feeling better this morning,' and Isben looked at her and said, 'On...more

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I'm really not up for answering any questions that start with how, when, where, why or what.

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I don't understand why you're so obsessed with figuring out everything that happens here, like we have to unravel every mystery.