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Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?" the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. "Those of us who are not making out are drun...more

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This one's for Alaska Young!

"

What the hell is that?" I laughed."It's my fox hat.""Your fox hat?""Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat.""Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked."Because no o...more

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You can't just make me different and then leave

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I found myself thinking about President William McKinley, the third American president to be assassinated. He lived for several days after he was shot...more

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Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, becaus...more

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You can't just make yourself matter and then die, Alaska, because now I am irretrievably different, and I'm sorry I let you go, yes, but you made the ...more

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On some fundamental level we find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings in the same way that we are.

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Well," Ben went on,"someone should just tell her to come on home, because she can find the world's largest balls right here in Orlando, Florida. They'...more

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What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows.

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But then again, if you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all. Imagining isn't perfect. You can't get all the way inside someone else. I could nev...more

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Once we got out of Jefferson Park, we rolled down the one window that worked so the world would know we had good taste in music.

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A poem can't do its work if you only read snippets of it.

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You were with Margo Roth Spiegelman last night? At THREE A.M.? I nodded. Alone? I nodded. Oh my God, if you hooked up with her, you have to tell me ev...more

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We don't suffer from a shortage of metaphors, is what I mean. But you have to be careful which metaphor you choose, because it matters.