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I'm a mother," said her mother, in her foodless flat where the dust did not dare to settle, "and I know what I know.

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He was having more fun than a barrelful of monkeys.**Several years earlier Spider had actually been tremendously disappointed by a barrelful of monkey...more

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Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.

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Fat Charlie wondered what Rosie's mother would usually hear in a church. Probably just cries of "Back! Foul best of Hell!" followed by gasps of "Is it...more

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Of course, everyone's parents are embarrassing. It goes with the territory. The nature of parents is to embarrass merely by existing, just as it is th...more

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How do I know you'll keep your word?" asked Coraline."I swear it," said the other mother. "I swear it on my own mother's grave.""Does she have a grave...more

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Being a geological formation gives you a lot of time to think. Also, I subscribed to a number of learned journals.

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I think that there should have been some nice wumpires," said my sister, wistfully. "Nice, handsome, misunderstood wumpires.""There were not," said my...more

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It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundament...more

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I mean, d'you know what eternity is? There's this big mountain, see, a mile high, at the end of the universe, and once every thousand years there's th...more

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You're Hell's Angels, then? What chapter are you from?''REVELATIONS. CHAPTER SIX.

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There are some dogs which, when you meet them, remind you that, despite thousands of years of man-made evolution, every dog is still only two meals aw...more

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Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking towards Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty To Animals, Things Not Working Properly Ev...more

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I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out.

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Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisements said...more