"

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

"

On the Ning Nang NongWhere the Cows go Bong!And the Monkeys all say Boo!Theres a Nang Nong NingWhere the trees go Ping!And the tea pots Jibber Jabber ...more

"

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?

"

With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.

"

R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping.

"

The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.

"

Some people live a nothing life: the most important thing they ever do is die. Thank God for eccentrics! Take Gunner Octavian Neat. He would suddenly ...more

"

...Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverted se...more

"

After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it

"

Busty’ Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverte...more

"

Author? Author? Did you write these legs?''Yes."'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at all. I could ha' writted better legs meself.

"

Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appreciate it. Why, thought Milligan, this very moment ...more

"

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.