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There are times when I'm doing QI and I'm going, 'Ha ha, yeah, yeah,' and inside I'm going 'I want to fucking die. I … want … to … fucking … die.'(Sou...more

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An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.

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Compromise is a stalling between two fools.

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It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whi...more

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...Catholic versus Protestant, essentially. It's that kind of fight. ... And it goes on to this day. Will we never learn? Who knows? Religion. Shit it...more

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It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whi...more

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Seriousness is no more a guarantee of truth, insight, authenticity or probity, than humour is a guarantee of superficiality and stupidity.

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The alarm in the morning? Well, I have an old tape of Carlo Maria Giulini conducting the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in a perfectly transcendent ver...more

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Music takes me to places of illimitable sensual and insensate joy, accessing points of ecstasy that no angelic lover could ever locate, or plunging me...more

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Sex without smiling is as sickly and as base as vodka and tonic without ice.

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No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.

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I like to think of this little [newspaper] column as a brassière, or do I mean brasserie? Brazier, possibly. All three! A column that lifts, separates...more

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Anger fed him and clothed him and he owed it much.

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There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a ro...more

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Nobody seems to understand that in such matters the tact and sympathy should come from the one who is about to die, not the poor bugger who has to tak...more