"He'd never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was boredom. The trouble was that boredom tended to exp...
Aargh! I’m too short for this shit!
More Terry Pratchett quotes
"Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice."There's naebody here o' that name!" shouted Rob Anybody. "We dinna...
"Quite amazing, isn’t it, Mister Lipwig?’ he said cheerfully through the smoke. ‘Though isn’t it a pity that they can only run on rails? I can’t imagin...
"Oh, that's just Thud! That's easy!" yapped a voice.Both men turned to look at Horsefry, who had been made perky by sheer relief."I used to play it whe...
"You won't enjoy it," sighed Crowley. "It's been in the car for more than a fortnight." A heavy bass beat began to thump through the Bentley as they sp...
"For a moment the rank felt as though they had just returned from single-handedly conquering a distant province. They felt, in fact, tremendously bucke...
"Sergeant Colon owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and Sargent Colon worked all night. They communicated by...
"... a metaphor ... is like lying but more decorative.
"I never said nothing...""I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn'...
"She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end u...
"(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.
"You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.
"People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.
"-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.
"(About sweeping)....What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends...