"

Err on the side of awesome.

"

I try to avoid having thoughts. They lead to other thoughts, and—if you’re not careful—those lead to actions. Actions make you tired. I have this on r...more

"

I froze, shocked. (And don't try to claim that you did anything different the first time a government bureaucrat pulled a gun on you.)

"

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny.

"

People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle...more

"

The ending of a book is, in my experience, both the best and worst part to read. For the ending will often determine whether you love or hate the book...more

"

I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease.

"

Yes, Bastille. I keep trying to get killed because it's inconvenient for you.

"

People don't read anymore. And, when they do, they don't read books like this one, but instead read books that depress them, because those books are s...more

"

Personally, I like it much better when someone else does the decision making. That way you have legitimate grounds to whine and complain. I tend to fi...more

"

Emergency? Knighthawk sent. I’m just bored.I blinked, holding my phone and rereading that text.Bored? I sent. You’re literally spying on the entire wo...more

"

I set the coffee aside and got a cup of water instead. I could never see why people drank that stuff. It tasted like soil boiled in mud, wit a topping...more

"

I’m going to destroy you, little man!" Sourcefield yelled after me. "I’ll rip you apart like a piece of tissue paper in a hurricane!""Wow," I said, re...more

"

As accurate as a blind man pissing during an earthquake.”“Wow...,” I breathed.She frowned

"

Don’t do anything stupid.""Don’t worry," I whispered over the line, "I’m an expert on stupid.""You’re...""Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know i...more