"Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”“Cheese made by dwarfs.”“Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .”“No. What a horrib...












No one's ever really ready for a troll.

More Eoin Colfer quotes
"The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
"So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?""That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney.""Oh, really?""O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel b...
"Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little somet...
"She held out a small voice recorder. 'By the way, could you describe exactly how you felt at the moment of impact? I'm writing this short story--''Put...
"I know what dissipate means, Arty. I'm not three, for heaven's sake.
"Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch.
"Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts.
"... even one centimetre can make an awful lot of difference when you don't have many to spare.
"The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting.
"this was business.
"Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.
"Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
"I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
"Tonight, history was going to be made. And it wasn't the discovery-of-radium, first-man-on-the-moon happy kind of history. It was the Spanish-Inquisit...