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You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.'Nope,' I replied.

More Eoin Colfer quotes

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She held out a small voice recorder. 'By the way, could you describe exactly how you felt at the moment of impact? I'm writing this short story--''Put...

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Tonight, history was going to be made. And it wasn't the discovery-of-radium, first-man-on-the-moon happy kind of history. It was the Spanish-Inquisit...

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Excuse me, Tex," the nurse said, hands on hips. 'Would you mind reining in the voice. There are babies being born in this hospital. We wouldn't want t...

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In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not gettin...

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Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”“Cheese made by dwarfs.”“Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .”“No. What a horrib...