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For me, that emotional payoff is what it’s all about. I want you to laugh or cry when you read a story...or do both at the same time. I want your hear...more

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To the champ, everything is serious business. I'm hoping that he'll live long enough to learn that in this world that is a very dangerous attitude.

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Good luck is just bad luck with its hair combed.

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Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.

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I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

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Oh shit, the mummy's after us, let's all walk a little faster

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FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.

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People who leave their drugs in a bathroom the guests use are just asking for trouble.

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Fighting for peace, is like f***ing for chastity

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Mrs. Cole was a perfect democrat. She hated all kids equally.

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What I know now is that gallant young men rarely get pussy. Put it on a sampler and hang it in your kitchen.

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When you're twenty-one, life is a roadmap. It's only when you get to twenty-five or so that you begin to suspect you've been looking at the map upside...more

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I have seen many cases like N. during the five years I've been in practice. I sometimes picture these unfortunates as men and women being pecked to de...more

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norris didn't cry, but he was apt to puke on them, the way he had puked on homer gamache that time he had found homer sprawled in a ditch out by homel...more

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A boy who once wiped his ass with poison ivy probably doesn't belong in a smart people's club.