You Quotes
If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.
The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up wit...
Show MorePeace is something very dear. If you've been through wars and operations and battles, you want peace...
Show MoreYou can only end a negotiation for peace if you begin it.
We want Israel as a democratic and Jewish state. So you have to maintain a Jewish majority, and you ...
Show MoreYou know, I'm just not going to get into American politics.
Why be a man when you can be a success?
What a miserable thing life is: you're living in clover, only the clover isn't good enough.
The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions t...
Show MoreScience is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know.
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
Real success is being totally indulgent about your own trip. You put your blinders on about the garb...
Show MoreIn this business, until you're known as a monster you're not a star.
I have an independent streak. You know, it's kind of hard to tell a independent woman what to do.
All the things that are part of your heritage make you British - that makes this country what it is....
Show MoreYou don't need a science degree to understand about science. You just need to think about it.
My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to obs...
Show MoreI love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as th...
Show MoreIf you have no faith, you've lost your battle.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even pov...
Show MoreI think 'I Spy,' still when you look at it, speaks volumes in terms of propaganda for equality. It's...
Show MoreThe advance of technology is based on making it fit in so that you don't really even notice it, so i...
Show MoreThe common thread for everything I do is this idea of a Web-services architecture. What does that me...
Show MoreIf you're low-income in the United States, you have a higher chance of going to jail than you do of ...
Show MoreMoney has always been in politics. And I'm not sure you'd want money to be completely out of politic...
Show MoreTeaching's hard! You need different skills: positive reinforcement, keeping students from getting bo...
Show MorePeople should just buy a CD and rip it. You are legal then.
The thing about HD-DVD that is attractive to Microsoft is that it's very pro-consumer in letting you...
Show MoreIf you have 50 different plug types, appliances wouldn't be available and would be very expensive. B...
Show MoreIn business, the idea of measuring what you are doing, picking the measurements that count like cust...
Show MoreBy the time we see that climate change is really bad, your ability to fix it is extremely limited......
Show MoreIn the long run, your human capital is your main base of competition. Your leading indicator of wher...
Show MoreIf you can't make it good, at least make it look good.
If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-l...
Show MoreIf you think you have it tough, read history books.
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country bette...
Show MorePractice every time you get a chance.
I've never made any horrible, horrible movies. If you don't ruin your reputation, you can always get...
Show MoreI've got no problem with anybody's religion. But if you go claiming the Earth is only 10,000 years o...
Show MoreScience is the key to our future, and if you don't believe in science, then you're holding everybody...
Show MoreOne of the downsides of being famous is that folks pay far more attention to you than they should. A...
Show MoreSomething goes wrong, I yell at them -'Fix it'- whether it's their fault or not. You can only really...
Show MoreBut you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it's the only beard in the history of West...
Show MoreThere's no damn business like show business - you have to smile to keep from throwing up.
There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it.
There are always young bands playing in their garages. A lot of punk rock is not going to be in the ...
Show MoreA lot of punk rock is not going to be in the mainstream. It's below the radar. The beauty of it is t...
Show MorePoetry can do a lot of things to people. I mean it can improve your imagination. It can take you to ...
Show MoreThere's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be ser...
Show MoreWhen I was a young man, I understood that poetry was two things - it was difficult to understand, bu...
Show MoreWhen you're the host of the Academy Awards, and you grew up watching Bob Hope and Johnny Carson, and...
Show MoreNo matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, an...
Show MoreBelievers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.
Look twice before you leap.
No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, an...
Show MoreBelievers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.
No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, an...
Show MoreBelievers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.
No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, an...
Show MoreBelievers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.
In modern war... you will die like a dog for no good reason.
No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, an...
Show MoreBelievers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.
No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, an...
Show MoreBelievers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.
No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, an...
Show MoreBelievers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.
No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, an...
Show MoreTime goes, you say? Ah, no! alas, time stays, we go.
Believers, look up - take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.
You can't raise the standard of women's morals by raising their pay envelope. It lies deeper than th...
Show MoreHypocrites in the Church? Yes, and in the lodge and at the home. Don't hunt through the Church for a...
Show MoreThe trouble with many men is that they have got just enough religion to make them miserable. If ther...
Show MoreFrance is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
Usually when you see females in movies, they feel like they have these metallic structures around th...
Show MoreIf you will read again what is written, you will see how it was.
You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.
I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours.
Don't matter how much money you got, there's only two kinds of people: there's saved people and ther...
Show MoreIf you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
In this bright future you can't forget your past.
If you get down and quarell everyday, you're saying prayers to the devil, I say.
Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?
You entertain people who are satisfied. Hungry people can't be entertained - or people who are afrai...
Show MoreHumor's a weapon if you want to make it one.
I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have tha...
Show MoreI think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at ...
Show MoreYou shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, 'Why is that person staring at me?'
What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor.
When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't go away.
North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?
You can win, it'll just cost you some money.
The money's the same, whether you earn it or scam it.
However British you may be, I am more British still.
To develop political and economic power in a capitalist society, you need capital.