Sarcasm Quotes

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Felicity and Ann hunched over their ornaments as if they were...

Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I...

She tapped out a beat on the edge of the piano as I tripped and plummeted through the refrain of “Sp...

I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium ...

So this was the rest of his life. It felt like a party to which he'd been invited, but at an address...

October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July,...

Marriage is always something of a compromise, as I'm sure you're now aware. Any long-term relationsh...

If then, Moses so distinctly announces that there is in us not only a faculty, but also a facility f...

Why, you mean you didn't get abducted and dragged across country purely to make us a story for us to...

Weapons master is giving me special lessons." she (Amily) chuckled. " He calls then How Not To Get K...

...Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying.

We...we could be friends.'We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing African elephants...

For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenal's moods and fortunes...

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

So the I.F. is spying on Earth.""Just as a mother spies on her children at play in the yard.""Good t...

Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the ...

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his butt...

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating t...

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

She washed he hands,then looked at my side. "you haven't even had it stitched?" She said incredulous...

Think of it as an eight-dimensional onion.’ Justine straightened her back and gave her father an exa...

Sometimes when I have the feeling like I’m almost crying, it can turn into an almost-laughing feelin...

It is a futile and ridiculous struggle—but then... it is human nature, I suppose, to be futile and r...

He explained civilization to me. I mean how it looks to him. He's going to let it go on a little whi...

Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?

. . . they would rather sneer at us and be smug, because we 'fail' to see what they are driving at. ...

Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which is why the churc...

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the co...

This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.

I couldn't help thinkin' if she was as far out o' town as she was out o' tune, she wouldn't get back...

You’ll pardon me,” he finally said, “if the suggestion that the minuscule black turnip you call a he...

I get the same buzz cleaning up the yard as Leo Tolstoy did from scything hay.

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certai...

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certai...

I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a c...

Oh no, praying is great, without it the thumbscrews and the Iron Maiden probably never would have be...

The speed felt tremendous. And the bottom of the ravine was treacherous. She ought to control her mo...

Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks.

And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies.-Haymitch Abernathy

Katniss: 'What about you? Ive seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour'. I s...

Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.

I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythi...

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,’ said Carrot'What, in Ankh-Morpork?’Yes, sir.’‘We s...

Doesn't this place give you the creeps? You could perhaps do something with some floral wallpaper an...

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,’ said Carrot‘What, in Ankh-Morpork?’‘Yes, sir.’‘We ...

Well, child? Aren't you going to try to turn me into some kind of unspeakable creature?I don't think...

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

I think it is just a matter of getting into the mind of the writer,” Vetinari went on, looking at a ...

It’s bad enough barging into Guild property, but we’ll get into really serious trouble if we shoot a...

REMIND ME AGAIN, he said, HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE.

For the whole earth is the tomb of famous men; not only are they commemorated by columns and inscrip...

Most thoughtful,"...[he said] politely. This cheerfulness was ambiguous, Had she determined to ignor...

How careless of me!" By which she meant that she had deduced that he had found [them] in his pocket ...

All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves t...

I'll only go if there's cake.~Tobias "Four

This is supposed to be a lighthearted session of symbolic document destruction, not a political deba...

And out floated Eeyore. "Eeyore!" cried everybody. Looking very calm, very dignified, with his legs ...

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

I know a lie when I hear one.

In fact,' said Poirot, 'she stabbed him in the dark, not realising that he was dead already, but som...

Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of ...

In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is reall...

At one time, the treatment for a certain kind of psychosis had been to push an ice pick up through t...

Independence is earned by a few words of cheap confidence

No zek had the right to stay one second in his workroom without the supervision of a free employee b...

You are perfectly right in objecting to them [modern art], for this one great fault - that they have...

Dear friend…'The Witcher swore quietly, looking at the sharp, angular, even runes drawn with energet...

A woman's weapon is her tongue.

Am dining at Goldini's Restaurant, Gloucester Road, Kensington. Please come at once and join me ther...

Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?" her husband, Jack, asked her. "I'm b...

The rich and large corporations get richer, the CEOs earn huge compensation packages, and when thing...

All My Bitches Are Mad At Me Right Now.

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny.

My other hand?' Lopen said. 'The one that was cut off long ago, eaten by a fearsome beast? It is mak...

I’m sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to.

Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist.

And here I was thinking you were a bit slow, what with so much asking and not knowing anything.

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace

Forty dollars for one adult nonrefundable ticket. You’re in luck — your bus leaves in a half hour. B...

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.

What’s it like? Ballet school?”“Harsh,” he said. “Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only r...

What did Isabelle want?" Jace asked.Alec hesitated. "Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has...

Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselve...

We had and incident. I took care of it.""Really." Jace's voice dripped sarcasm. "Do you even know ho...

That seems like stealing, doesn't it?" Simon pulled a cup toward him. He drew the lid back. "Ooh. Mo...

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?"Isabelle...

Don't tell me," Jace said, "Simon's turned himself into an ocelot and you want me to do something ab...

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?""Of course th...

A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers?

Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.

By the Angel," Jace said, looking the demon up and down. "I knew Greater Demons were meant to be ugl...

It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.

I wish you'd stop desperately trying to get my attention like this," he said. "It's become embarrass...

I don't want tea," said Clary, with muffled force. "I want to find my mother. And then I want to fin...

... As could the sarcasm in her voice. "yes, she's bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I'd a...

Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the...

It’s fascinating. You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them togeth...

the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "I...

Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane.""They di...