Sarcasm Quotes

You are perfectly right in objecting to them [modern art], for this one great fault - that they have...

Dear friend…'The Witcher swore quietly, looking at the sharp, angular, even runes drawn with energet...

A woman's weapon is her tongue.

Am dining at Goldini's Restaurant, Gloucester Road, Kensington. Please come at once and join me ther...

Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?" her husband, Jack, asked her. "I'm b...

The rich and large corporations get richer, the CEOs earn huge compensation packages, and when thing...

All My Bitches Are Mad At Me Right Now.

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny.

My other hand?' Lopen said. 'The one that was cut off long ago, eaten by a fearsome beast? It is mak...

I’m sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to.

Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist.

And here I was thinking you were a bit slow, what with so much asking and not knowing anything.

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace

Forty dollars for one adult nonrefundable ticket. You’re in luck — your bus leaves in a half hour. B...

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.

What’s it like? Ballet school?”“Harsh,” he said. “Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only r...

What did Isabelle want?" Jace asked.Alec hesitated. "Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has...

Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselve...

We had and incident. I took care of it.""Really." Jace's voice dripped sarcasm. "Do you even know ho...

That seems like stealing, doesn't it?" Simon pulled a cup toward him. He drew the lid back. "Ooh. Mo...

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?"Isabelle...

Don't tell me," Jace said, "Simon's turned himself into an ocelot and you want me to do something ab...

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?""Of course th...

A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers?

Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.

By the Angel," Jace said, looking the demon up and down. "I knew Greater Demons were meant to be ugl...

It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.

I wish you'd stop desperately trying to get my attention like this," he said. "It's become embarrass...

I don't want tea," said Clary, with muffled force. "I want to find my mother. And then I want to fin...

... As could the sarcasm in her voice. "yes, she's bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I'd a...

Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the...

It’s fascinating. You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them togeth...

the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "I...

Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane.""They di...

... We are Nephilim; we fight our own battles." "That's not precisely true, is it?" said a velvety v...

Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me...

What - what - what are you doing?" he demanded."I am almost six hundred years old," Magnus claimed, ...

He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot. "Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you ...

Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assum...

A little girl robbed you?" Tessa said."Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, b...

While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and ski...

You know," Cecily said, "you really didn't have to throw that man through the window.""He wasn't a m...

Is this the girl?” Kieran’s voice was very different: It sounded like waves sliding up the shore. Li...

Then why are you here?” Emma demanded. “Oh, is this one of those missed-connections things? We met t...

What's next? You want to convince me they're making another crap Last Airbender movie?

Yeah,” Tamara said. “An old bowling alley. There must be a town not too far from here. But how could...

Don’t worry, hero. If the vamp shows up, I’m here to protect you.”“Great, I can hide behind your mas...

What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.

Now, to be sure, Mrs Varden thought, here is a perfect character. Here is a meek, righteous, thoroug...

Where is your false, your treacherous, and cursed wife?""She's gone forrard to the Police Office," r...

The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempt...

My mind reels with sarcastic replies!

What tale do you like best to hear?' 'Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same the...

Conner raised an eyebrow. 'Who told you

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to ...

Eragon went to see the dragon for the first time since it had spoken to him. He approached apprehens...

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

Have you noticed we can breathe in here too?Gosh, I wouldn't have picked up on that.

Dear Producers, Something is radiating deep within me and it must be transmitted or I will implode a...

In 1803, President Jefferson oversaw the purchase of this land from the French for $15 million. It d...

It's funny, ma'am, how sometimes you're so sarcastic but it doesn't sting.""Because of my dimples. D...

(One character on another:)"Don't you know that I passionately dote on every chin on his face?

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit o...

I certainly don’t like the idea of missionaries. In fact, the whole business fills me with fear and ...

Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!

Hermy, when she was not otter-hunting, could be very sarcastic, and he had a clear month of Hermy in...

Oh, poor, poor fellow!' said Mrs. Elliot with a remorse that was sincere, though her congratulations...

What--has O-Tar seen an ulsio and fainted?" demanded I-Gos with broad sarcasm."Men have died for les...

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.

Named Harris," Bill said. "Ever know him, Mike? He was in the war, too.""Fortunate fellow," Mike sai...

I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.

I nee to reason for a plague, ... As far as I know no comets or eclipses have been forecast, and our...

One comforting thing about the Trump White House is that you aren't forced to choose between malice ...

I think one of the problems in this country is that too many people are screwing things up, committi...

Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look m...

I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now...

He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifyin...

His long wait is almost done. I am sending Balon Swann to Sunspear, to deliver him the head of Grego...

That's one way we differ, Jaime and I. He's taller as well, you may have noticed.

worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits.

You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister.""Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lo...

I have some devotional books you can look over. Learn to quote from them. Nothing discourages unwant...

The occupational hazard of being a Playboy Bunny is the aching facial muscles brought on by obligato...

And involuntarily I compared the childish sarcasm, the religious sarcasm of Voltaire with the irresi...

..her smile, which was her pretty feature, was never so pretty as when her sprightly phrase had a sc...

The city of Leonia refashions itself every day: every morning the people wake between fresh sheets, ...

That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's dete...

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again."So he can sneak up on people," said Ron...

Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye.

Promise me you’ll look after yourself … stay out of trouble …’‘I always do, Mrs Weasley,’ said Harry...

I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...”“Yes...

Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?""Yes," said Harry stiffl...

Why were you lurking under our window?""Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under ou...

Stop moving!' Hermione ordered them. 'I know what this is - it's Devil's Snare!''Oh, I'm so glad we ...

Where are Haldad my father, and Haldad my brother? If the king of Doriath fears a friendship between...

Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You hav...

It was a very proper wedding. The bride was elegantly dressed---the two bridemaids were duly inferio...

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.