Sarcasm Quotes

I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years afte...

True cynics kill themselves. The rest are posers, trying to use clever sarcasm and snarky remarks to...

Thomas was an annoying wiseass who tended to make everyone he met want to kill him, and when I have ...

Are you always a smartass?'Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

Just remember that you're on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this t...

With a sense of humor like that, you could make a living as a garbage man anywhere in the country.

There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.

I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth...

Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an...

You don't have to make fun of it.""Actually I do," I said. "I make fun of almost everything.

Yes, I was standing on nothing but congealed starlight. Yes, I was walking up through a savage storm...

That's Doctor Smart-ass. I didn't spend eight years in insult college to be called Mister.

He's asleep in the harbor, disguised as dog shit.

If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your li...

If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your li...

All right. The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic c...

He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you nee...

We are literally in the heart of Jesus," he said."I thought we were in a church basement, but we are...

Where do you come up with these zingers, Clint? Do you own some kind of joke factory in Indonesia wh...

To my astonishment I saw him standing at a table with Kitty Jones. It was the Kitty Jones bit that w...

It was Nathaniel's boundless capacity for stating the obvious that made him so charmingly human.

The mole dug its way deep, deep down, under the foundations of the wall. No magical alarm sounded, t...

The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace's. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace's ...

I—though forced through lack of space to assume the form of a stoic guinea pig crouched between the ...

I wanted to wake you straightaway, but I knew I had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely ...

In my youth, I was always one for the dramatic entrance. Now, in keeping with my character, I gravit...

If you turned your back on irony, it curdled into sarcasm. And what good was it then? Sarcasm was ir...

I’d heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico but I didn’t think it meant the creatures that ...

I was woken early and had breakfast with the guru. We had some spicy Rice Krispies and a spicy biscu...

Twenty-three stories up and all I could see out the windows was grey smog. They could call it the Ci...

Vampires were always either trying to kill me, or own me. God I hated being popular.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Felicity and Ann hunched over their ornaments as if they were...

Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I...

She tapped out a beat on the edge of the piano as I tripped and plummeted through the refrain of “Sp...

I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium ...

So this was the rest of his life. It felt like a party to which he'd been invited, but at an address...

October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July,...

Marriage is always something of a compromise, as I'm sure you're now aware. Any long-term relationsh...

If then, Moses so distinctly announces that there is in us not only a faculty, but also a facility f...

Why, you mean you didn't get abducted and dragged across country purely to make us a story for us to...

Weapons master is giving me special lessons." she (Amily) chuckled. " He calls then How Not To Get K...

...Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying.

We...we could be friends.'We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing African elephants...

For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenal's moods and fortunes...

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

So the I.F. is spying on Earth.""Just as a mother spies on her children at play in the yard.""Good t...

Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the ...

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his butt...

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating t...

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

She washed he hands,then looked at my side. "you haven't even had it stitched?" She said incredulous...

Think of it as an eight-dimensional onion.’ Justine straightened her back and gave her father an exa...

Sometimes when I have the feeling like I’m almost crying, it can turn into an almost-laughing feelin...

It is a futile and ridiculous struggle—but then... it is human nature, I suppose, to be futile and r...

He explained civilization to me. I mean how it looks to him. He's going to let it go on a little whi...

Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?

. . . they would rather sneer at us and be smug, because we 'fail' to see what they are driving at. ...

Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which is why the churc...

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the co...

This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.

I couldn't help thinkin' if she was as far out o' town as she was out o' tune, she wouldn't get back...

You’ll pardon me,” he finally said, “if the suggestion that the minuscule black turnip you call a he...

I get the same buzz cleaning up the yard as Leo Tolstoy did from scything hay.

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certai...

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certai...

I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a c...

Oh no, praying is great, without it the thumbscrews and the Iron Maiden probably never would have be...

The speed felt tremendous. And the bottom of the ravine was treacherous. She ought to control her mo...

Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks.

And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies.-Haymitch Abernathy

Katniss: 'What about you? Ive seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour'. I s...

Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.

I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythi...

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,’ said Carrot'What, in Ankh-Morpork?’Yes, sir.’‘We s...

Doesn't this place give you the creeps? You could perhaps do something with some floral wallpaper an...

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,’ said Carrot‘What, in Ankh-Morpork?’‘Yes, sir.’‘We ...

Well, child? Aren't you going to try to turn me into some kind of unspeakable creature?I don't think...

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

I think it is just a matter of getting into the mind of the writer,” Vetinari went on, looking at a ...

It’s bad enough barging into Guild property, but we’ll get into really serious trouble if we shoot a...

REMIND ME AGAIN, he said, HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE.

For the whole earth is the tomb of famous men; not only are they commemorated by columns and inscrip...

Most thoughtful,"...[he said] politely. This cheerfulness was ambiguous, Had she determined to ignor...

How careless of me!" By which she meant that she had deduced that he had found [them] in his pocket ...

All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves t...

I'll only go if there's cake.~Tobias "Four

This is supposed to be a lighthearted session of symbolic document destruction, not a political deba...

And out floated Eeyore. "Eeyore!" cried everybody. Looking very calm, very dignified, with his legs ...

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

I know a lie when I hear one.

In fact,' said Poirot, 'she stabbed him in the dark, not realising that he was dead already, but som...

Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of ...

In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is reall...

At one time, the treatment for a certain kind of psychosis had been to push an ice pick up through t...

Independence is earned by a few words of cheap confidence

No zek had the right to stay one second in his workroom without the supervision of a free employee b...

You are perfectly right in objecting to them [modern art], for this one great fault - that they have...

Dear friend…'The Witcher swore quietly, looking at the sharp, angular, even runes drawn with energet...

A woman's weapon is her tongue.

Am dining at Goldini's Restaurant, Gloucester Road, Kensington. Please come at once and join me ther...