Irony Quotes

You could write a book about things that you can't find on-line.

Somewhere fate laughs in her far-off country, because now I am the human and it is Grace I will lose...

There's a large strain of irony in our human affairs... Interwoven with our affairs is this wonderfu...

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what ...

Everybody granted that if "Tom" were white and free it would be unquestionably right to punish him--...

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did...

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony.

You can put anything into words, except your own life

Trapped. Sinking. Can't be myself. Made into what other people expect. Is that everyone's fate? Were...

The blessing of the omnivore is that he can eat a great many different things in nature. The curse o...

We must uncover our rituals for what they are: completely arbitrary things, tied to our bourgeois wa...

It may well be that we talk about sex more than anything else; we set our minds to the task; we conv...

I quote others only in order the better to express myself.

What is all this? Get him out of here, devil take me!” And that one, imagine, smiles and says: “Devi...

We’ve known for a long time that it was no longer possible to overturn this world, nor reshape it, n...

Most people willingly deceive themselves with a doubly false faith; they believe in eternal memory (...

It is a tragicomic fact that our proper upbringing has become an ally of the secret police. (...) Th...

He won’t stop the war until you give him the peace prize.

In a nutshell, I am not unaware of my failings. Neither am I a stranger to irony.

The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication - this "nerdification," to put it bl...

That Jim Crow there in the window," answered the urchin, holding out a cent, and pointing to the gin...

Trusting no man as his friend, he could not recognize his enemy when the latter actually appeared.

What a refreshing mind you have, young man. There really is nothing quite like total ignorance, is t...

That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killin...

For 'wellness', naturally is no cause of complaint--people relish it, they enjoy it, they are at the...

The beauty and mystery of this world only emerges through affection, attention, interest and compass...

I hardly think that any Socialist, nowadays, would seriously propose that an inspector should call e...

Irony is wasted on the stupid

Even things that are true can be proved.

You cut life to pieces with your epigrams.

A million years ago - some hairy bastard daubed a horse on the wall of his cave, he saw it, he drew ...

The newly-minted captain is told to let nothing stop him but to do nothing that would risk his ship ...

Irony is the attendant of hope and the fuel of hope is innocence.

God hides the fires of hell within paradise.

I think people under age 55 come to Vegas with a certain sense of irony.

And on the pedestal these words appear:'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:Look on my works, ye Mi...

[sic] his reaction was a sign of civilization. Nobody reaches for a gun anymore, just for his lawyer...

How much truth is contained in something can be best determined by making it thoroughly laughable an...

If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others.

Just as she was unaware of the hidden currents of politics running below the surface of College affa...

You would compliment a coxcomb doing a good act, but you would not praise an angel.

The ironist is ironical not because he does not care, but because he cares too much.

I'm being ironic. Don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it's not polite. There!

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is...

God’s in His heaven—All’s right with the world!

What has our culture lost in 1980 that the avant-garde had in 1890? Ebullience, idealism, confidence...

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed...

... the novel, arguably the author's best, had a disquieting power, like a sleeping crocodile.

Nobody steals books but your friends.

He smelled the smells of commerce and listened to the cursing of the sailors, both of which he admir...

Do you work for the government, any government?”"I pay taxes, which means I work for the government,...

In the State of Denmark there was the odor of decay...

To paraphrase Oedipus, Hamlet, Lear, and all those guys, "I wish I had known this some time ago.

A DEAD STATESMANI could not dig: I dared not rob:Therefore I lied to please the mob.Now all my lies ...

VLADIMIR: Moron!ESTRAGON: Vermin!VLADIMIR: Abortion!ESTRAGON: Morpion!VLADIMIR: Sewer-rat!ESTRAGON: ...

Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wo...

I don’t know whether Asimov realized he was saying this as well, but as an old historical materialis...

These were always the weirdest trips for me, when it was midnight or even later, and we pulled up to...

A united front announcing a split.

The irony of informing nearly naked people in a wilderness setting about the story of naked Adam and...

I always think it's funny when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, sure, the Indians and Pilgrim...

[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON...

What one should add here is that self-consciousness is itself unconscious: we are not aware of the p...

He saw that it was an ironical thing for him to be running thus toward that which he had been at suc...

His face had been twisted into an expression of every agony he had imagined for his friend.

Sometimes, the embers are better then the campfire. It's strange, but it's true.

The speed felt tremendous. And the bottom of the ravine was treacherous. She ought to control her mo...

«Such is the irony of life,» Kruppe proclaimed, raising one pastry-filled hand over his head, «that ...

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

To condemn slavery was one thing—that I could do in my own individual heart—but female ministers!

Funny, though, I don't feel too bad.

I pound on the glass, screaming my head off. Everyone ignores me except for some Capitol attendant w...

As the ironist does not have the new within his power, it might be asked how he destroys the old, an...

He led them around the base of a great fallen tree whose exposed roots resembled more than anything ...

and their days make no story for they were good and joyful and without event

Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours,Yours are the eyes ...

You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?""Only a man would thi...

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy...

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who did...

(About sweeping)....What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a ...

We think, therefore we should make everyone think what we think.

... nature did not make us to feel too good for too long (which would be no good for the survival of...

She resembled the swallow in the fable who once every thousand years transferred a grain of wheat, i...

For the whole earth is the tomb of famous men; not only are they commemorated by columns and inscrip...

All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves t...

But what use is the unicorn to you if your intellect doesn't believe in it?

Colorless green ideas sleep furiouslythree old owls on a chest of drawerswere screwingthe daughter o...

What is a saint supposed to do, if not convert wolves?

The list could surely go on, and there is nothing more wonderful than a list, instrument of wondrous...

He had been trying to measure the distance between the earth and God.

She came from the most worthless of classes - the rich, with a smattering of culture.

All of which does not alter the fact that Pnin was on the wrong train.

The Lethean Library, for all its incalculable volumes, is, I know, sadly incomplete without Mr. Good...

It is extremely dangerous to encourage people to see themselves as [inherently] exceptional, whateve...

Irony is a gift of the gods, the most subtle of all the modes of speech. It is an armour and a weapo...

It might seem to you that living in the woods on a riverbank would remove you from the modern world....

The fool's crime is the crime that is found out and the wise man's crime is the crime that is not fo...

I will never lie again.