Wit Quotes

It's common platitude that knowledge is neutral but every now and then it would be useful if it was ...

The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under th...

Really?""No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember.""Irony's cleverer, so you'r...

She drank in all their compliments and soon she was full of herself.

There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.

Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SH...

Great wits jump

Now don't let us give ourselves a parcel of airs, and pretend that the oaths we make free with in th...

if you can’t acquaint an opponent with reason, you must acquaint his head with the sidewalk.

Both were military. That was clear.Reacher could tell by their haircuts. No civilian barber would be...

One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will not understand: one sp...

It was Colonel Parkman who upped stakes, crossed the border, and named our town, thus perversely com...

If it's me against 48 I feel sorry for the 48.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relati...

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what ...

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous andshallow: Yet it was the schoolb...

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of ...

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writ...

And now, my poor old woman, why are you crying so bitterly? It is autumn. The leaves are falling fro...

The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication - this "nerdification," to put it bl...

Wit seduces by signaling intelligence without nerdiness.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.

Every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character.

My doctor says I must not have any serious conversation after seven [o'clock]. It makes me talk in m...

Deliver me from my disciples!

Cheap editions of great books may be delightful, but cheap editions of great men are absolutely dete...

JACK.I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without m...

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.

Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.

Thought and knowledge are natures in which apparatus and pretension avail nothing. Gowns, and pecuni...

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's fathe...

I am a mediocre being, a bit cunning.

Look, this is helping me out quite a bit, but could you just get to the punishment part? We're at th...

The more wit the less courage.

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands...

I didn't cross the line, you drew it in after I traversed it.

When a man in a forest thinks he is going forward in a straight line, in reality he is going in a ci...

Too caustic? To hell with cost we'll make the picture anyhow. Every director bites the hand that la...

NE'TWORK: Any thing reticulated or decussated, at equal distances, with interstices between the inte...

What is an epigram? A dwarfish whole Its body brevity and wit its soul.

It was like orderin a hamburger and getting only the buns"(After Brooke White of season 7 on america...

You sounded like Dolly parton on helium."(After kristy lee cook of season 7 on american idol,sang he...

If you want to be witty work on your character and say what you think on every occasion.

The flesh is sad, alas, and I have read all the books.

Going to marry her? Impossible! You mean a part of her; he could not marry her all himself. It would...

Going to marry her? Impossible! You mean a part of her; he could not marry her all himself. It would...

There was a party of well-dressed people with Gilt, and as they progressed accoss the room the whole...

(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Ho...

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through t...

If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from ro...

The more wit the less courage.

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

The more wit the less courage.

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

The more wit the less courage.

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

The more wit the less courage.

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

The more wit the less courage.

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

The more wit the less courage.

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

The more wit the less courage.

Men never think their fortunes too great nor their wit too little.

One of the strongest natural proofs of the folly of hereditary right in kings, is, that nature disap...

If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what r...

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.

A witty saying proves nothing.

Impropriety is the soul of wit.

I have great affection for you, Roy" I answered, "but I don't think you are the sort of person I'd c...

Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own...

No sensible man ever engages, unprepared, in a fencing match of words with a woman.

Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

True wit is Nature to advantage dress'd What oft was thought but ne'er so well express'd.

Wit is the lowest form of humor.

True wit is nature to advantage dress'd What oft was thought but ne'er so well expressed.

So vast is art, so narrow human wit.

True wit is nature to advantage dressed;What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed.

True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'dWhat oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd;Something w...

You can tell a really wonderful quote by the fact that it's attributed to a whole raft of wits.

His foe was folly and his weapon wit.

Melancholy men are of all others the most witty.

They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence.