Wit Quotes

She was widely read enough to appreciate my literary wit but not so widely read that she knew my sou...

Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Sometimes you have to break a rule to save the system.

You can con God and get away with it, Granny said, if you do so with charm and wit. If you live your...

He remembered having said to his uncle (with a solemn dogmatism better befitting a much younger man)...

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is si...

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship—he merely left his office late one morning, and ...

Captain Billings," he drawled finally, "if you will pardon my candor, I might remark that you are so...

I have a different idea of elegance. I don't dress like a fop, it's true, but my moral grooming is i...

The distrust of wit is the beginning of tyranny.

He drew a circle that shut me out-Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout.But love and I had the wit to wi...

I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appre...

Paparazzi arrived for Hugh [Grant]. We had to stand under a tree and smile for them.Photographer: 'H...

For a poet he threw a very accurate milk bottle.

The poet is a faker / Who's so good at his act / He even fakes the pain / Of pain he feels in fact.

There's no greater proof of an impoverished mind than its inability to be witty except at other peop...

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

Belief in form but disbelief in content - that's what makes an aphorism charming.

The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles.

She would walk through the kitchen at any hour, whenever she was hungry, and put her fork in the pot...

After dinner, at five o’clock, the crew distributed folding canvas cots to the passengers, and each ...

He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifyin...

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge.

The well of true wit is truth itself.

What I'd like to read is a scientific review, by a scientific psychologist--if any exists--of 'A Sci...

I did not know that mankind were suffering for want of gold. I have seen a little of it. I know that...

And here, I believe, the wit is generally misunderstood. In reality, it lies in desiring another to ...

Here comes Mamma Vauquerr, fair as a starrr; and strung up like a bunch of carrots. Aren't we suffoc...

Avoid witticisms at the expense of Others.

The two keys to success as a sportswriter are: 1) A blind willingness to believe anything you're tol...

On some days you get what you want, and on others, you get what you need.

I've been so thoroughly incorporated into the California culture that I practice meditation and go t...

Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye.

Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.

If you can overcome the occasional angst, you may have the chance to see some interesting things, pe...

The wit makes fun of other persons the satirist makes fun of the world the humorist makes fun of h...

There is a monsterous deal of stupid quizzing, & common-place nonsense talked, but scarcely any wit.

It was rather too late in the day to set about being simple-minded and ignorant.

I'm very fond of experimental housekeeping.

You are very fond of bending little minds; but where little minds belong to rich people in authority...

It was a very proper wedding. The bride was elegantly dressed---the two bridemaids were duly inferio...

...it is indeed a street of so impertinent a nature, so unfortunately connected with the great Londo...

You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe; and your wit and vivacity, I think, must b...

You judge very properly, and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with deli...

Well, well," said he, "do not make yourself unhappy. If you are a good girl for the next ten years, ...

There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, whic...

This was a lucky recollection -- it saved her from something like regret.

He listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner; an...

A man often runs the risk of throwing away a witticism if he admits that it is his own.

It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at ...

Lady Placida smiled. “History seldom takes note of serendipity when it records events. And from what...

Ack!" I said.Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

You would wind up as a cat, I told her. They don't need anyone else. I need you, she replied.Well, I...

The difference ‘twixt poet and coxcomb is precisely that the latter stops gaps like a ship fitter ca...

It's common platitude that knowledge is neutral but every now and then it would be useful if it was ...

The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under th...

Really?""No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember.""Irony's cleverer, so you'r...

She drank in all their compliments and soon she was full of herself.

There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.

Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SH...

Great wits jump

Now don't let us give ourselves a parcel of airs, and pretend that the oaths we make free with in th...

if you can’t acquaint an opponent with reason, you must acquaint his head with the sidewalk.

Both were military. That was clear.Reacher could tell by their haircuts. No civilian barber would be...

One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will not understand: one sp...

It was Colonel Parkman who upped stakes, crossed the border, and named our town, thus perversely com...

If it's me against 48 I feel sorry for the 48.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relati...

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what ...

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous andshallow: Yet it was the schoolb...

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of ...

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writ...

And now, my poor old woman, why are you crying so bitterly? It is autumn. The leaves are falling fro...

The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication - this "nerdification," to put it bl...

Wit seduces by signaling intelligence without nerdiness.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.

Every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character.

My doctor says I must not have any serious conversation after seven [o'clock]. It makes me talk in m...

Deliver me from my disciples!

Cheap editions of great books may be delightful, but cheap editions of great men are absolutely dete...

JACK.I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without m...

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.

Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.

Thought and knowledge are natures in which apparatus and pretension avail nothing. Gowns, and pecuni...

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's fathe...